I feel that it may be my responsibility to document my journey. I ventured off the trail today. It had rained the night prior. By morning’s first light, it was still overcast and the sky was determined to stay that way. Swirls of cloud in the wind up above me but no sign of reprieve from the white fog that lay there, just a couple dozen yards upwards of the ground. I ventured off the path.
I don’t know how my story-telling work flow works. I just… get ideas and write them all down. Sometimes, it takes a second to stabilize a particularly delicate part of the story but it mostly just comes out. But without further ado:
There once was a great fleet of many ships, each one lacking on its own but all of them connected to a great, central super-computer. This thing told them what to do, how and when to do it, and what was going on around them. Things were going well; missions were all completed with minimal casualties and optimal results.
But one day, someone had the bright idea to make each of these ships completely independent.
I don’t think I pray enough. Perhaps that means I don’t trust God the way He wants me to. Perhaps that means He’s not in a place in my heart and mind at which He’s the first number I call. And perhaps I’m selling myself short on the relationship I could have with God by living like this.
I’m wondering what the effects are of what I’ve just done. I hear it’s got something to do with seeing women as people and not objects. I have the idea that I forget a lot about her person, memories of times spent together become less intimate in my mind. I wish I knew everything, all the consequences of each of my actions. Then I’d probably make better decisions, right?
What’s the point of decision making when I can’t tell the future? It all seems to be a gamble. We all work with “as far as I know”. I have no ‘It’s because Jesus’ answer today. Just a question.
What’s gonna happen because of what I’ve just done?
Edit: Here comes the answer. Sin hurts me and hurts my relationship with God.