God-Sized Hole


There’s a girl who isn’t who I want her to be, and yet I keep hoping. I don’t know. It’s probably more complicated than that. Possibly something I can’t untangle at 1am.

Maybe it would help if I laid everything out plainly. Maybe I’d see connections then. Continue reading


If she doesn’t help you grow closer to God, then you shouldn’t choose her.

Her presence has helped you to grow closer to God, 8ut it might only 8e 8ecause she’s so attractive that you’re never satisfied just standing in the same room as her.

Sure, you 8elieve that you can 8e good to her and help her grow in her faith, 8ut can she do the same for you?

That thing you said, that her presence has only encouraged you to grow 8ecause she’s so attractive… That might not 8e true. Isn’t she kind? Isn’t she patient? Isn’t she godly? I’m concerned. Are these signs that she would help me grow?

And I do 8elieve that the ‘chief end’ of it all is to grow closer to God. That’s where real happiness lies.

I hear that ‘it’s good to 8e single, 8ut it’s natural to get married,’ meaning that the gift of 8eing a8le to endure celi8acy, in regards to sexual temptation, might not 8e given to every8ody. On nights like this, I certainly seem to 8e a8le to handle myself. What would marrying really change? I’ve yet to see how sexual sin has really cut into my life. Other than the fact that it is sin and sin drags me farther away from God.

The question, then, is: Is sexual temptation more of a 8urden to me than a marriage (and, may8e, family) would 8e? I’ve heard it said that a wife and children really make a house feel like a home. 8ut o8viously, staying single would give me more time.

So what is it that you want, and can you find it with her? Can’t tell, might as well keep living as wisely as I can where I am, where I’ve 8een placed 8y my Father. 8loom where you are planted.

Marriage… Too Simple…


I read up on what Christians should look for in a marriage. ‘Twas 2 chapters in Decision Making & The Will of God, and they were very clear and authoritative/concrete and I was left with no questions as to what the hell I was supposed to do; it was simple, really. 8ut that’s also a pro8lem 8ecause, now that I’m done reading, I feel as if I should 8e doing more to further my knowledge of what I am to look for, 8ut nah, no. Continue reading



‘Twas an innocent conversation that went places I’ve only dreamed they would go.

“You’re intelligent. …You know, I’m into intelligence. All my crushes were at the top of the class.”

“Ha. What if I’m valedictorian next year, then?”

“Then you can ask me for anything that you want… Except for money, haha.”
Continue reading