To love her because I like her is not to love at all?

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There’s this girl I know and I really like her. Do I love her? I try to. But I can’t love her without her accepting my love, any more than I can walk through a door that’s not open. But I do what I can. I love as much of her as she trusts me with. I’m working on following her lead with that. I can’t make her accept my love; I can only offer it.
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The Daily #14 – I’m hurt but I’m not running from it

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I just played a pretty horrible round of League of Legends. ‘Tis an old story: toxic players on your team and a horrible match-up in your lane. Now, it’s pretty natural for me to try to make myself feel better by pointing out how much the people telling me to fuck myself also sucked, but I don’t think that’s God’s prescription for it. Indeed, I think moments like these in life are crucial to testing my endurance and trust in God, because moments like these naturally draw me away from Him. Continue reading

Thoughts on good food and learning to make it

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Here’s a nice article about the program I’m hoping get into this Fall. (Update: SAIT mailed me a week after I applied that I was being offered a spot.)

The following was my reaction to the article, sent to my best friend through text. But I think it to be very true and I want to remember it so it’s getting posted here, whether y’all like it or not 😐 Just kidding, haha. Hope you guys get something from it too. Continue reading

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Sometimes, I have questions that… It’s so hard to word this without sounding like an idiot…

Sometimes, the questions I wonder about…. Uguu, one more try.

Sometimes, I don’t know what the purpose is of the question I ask, what the purposes are of the questions I ask. I mean to say I don’t know what I’d do with whatever answer I got. I guess I could make up a hypothetical answer then play pretend at how I’d react, but I can’t even imagine what the answer may be to this particular question. Or at least, I can’t fathom the implications of the answers that I think may be. Continue reading

Recovering From Spiritual Distraction in the Aftermath of Sin

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I don’t think I pray enough. Perhaps that means I don’t trust God the way He wants me to. Perhaps that means He’s not in a place in my heart and mind at which He’s the first number I call. And perhaps I’m selling myself short on the relationship I could have with God by living like this. Continue reading

Next Project, Preliminary Report: YouTube Ministry, Mission Statement etc.

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So I bought some gear for recording video games and recording my voice. I didn’t realize how much more stuff I’d need to buy, though. Sucks… But at least I’m moving. That is a very good change.

I bought an Elgato capture card. It wasn’t actually supposed to ship to my location but I put in the order without knowing and was then notified that I wouldn’t receive it and that I couldn’t cancel the order either, as it was already prepared to ship. Amazon customer service fixed it right up, though, and it’s now on its way.

I also bought a Blue Snowball microphone. I heard it’s supposed to make my voice sound all velvety and smooth. My friends tell me I’ve got quite the radio voice anyway, so that’s good. I’d like to have something real to say, though. I’m not quite sure what, but I remember having a lot of things to say back in the early days of this blog. I’m hoping to channel that spirit again, figuratively (and perhaps literally, what with the Holy Spirit being a real thing that empowers me, etc.)

I’ve been learning a lot about the Holy Spirit lately. Unfortunately for those of you personally unaware, it’s gonna sound like some crazy stuff. Heck, it’s crazy to me. But that’s a long story for another time. Right now, I’m explaining what I want to do with the equipment I just bought.

I want to try my hand at being a video game commentator on YouTube or something of the sort. This post here is to help me flesh out what I want to accomplish and experience as a content creator on YouTube. My aspirations fall into two categories: What I would find fun and what I want to accomplish. They’re both paths to fulfillment, they feed into each other, and I think it’s important that I consider both.

I believe that I’m likely to excel at the things that interest me. And if that’s true, then doing work that I’m interested in would be wise, effective service to the world and to God.

So, without further ado… Continue reading

Challenge and Change

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I’m under more pressure (from myself) to get a fulfilling(?) job because I don’t have anything else to do with my life for the next year. One whole year. I mean… I could call this last year both fast and slow.

Actually, no. It was just slow. But not in a bad way. It was slow as in… Deliberate, over-flowing with lessons to learn, skills to acquiesce. And I guess I’m afraid of wasting this next year of my life. I’m looking for a challenge. Maybe that’s all I should ask for and seek: A challenge.

At the moment, I’m looking for work as a barista at a legitimate cafe (not Starbucks). Coffee: global industry meets local community, great platform from which to support change at every level. And I like working with my hands and connecting with people.

But the cafe scene in Calgary, Alberta, Canada is a bit of an insider’s club kind of thing. Granted I do have foots stuffed into a few doors, there’s still a lot to worry about (from my perspective).

Now is the time to find work as a barista. University-age people will be leaving work or cutting their hours to go back to school. (Now that I think of it… Wouldn’t a lot of baristas be a little older than that at more respectable cafes?) Honestly, I see this as the only chance I have. And I think it’s very unhealthy for me to see it this way. Continue reading