I let my moods dictate my outlook on life way too much. So as life naturally ebbs and flows, I end up swinging back and forth between extremes. Now… I don’t think it’s exactly wrong to be extremely happy at times, but I do see it as very unhealthy that I’ve been so depressed lately when I’ve also been very happy. One day, I’m happy; the next I’m sad. That’s bad, something’s wrong.
Life doesn’t get put on hold when you leave. Everyone keeps moving along, which is pro8a8ly why my fantasies of leaving this place and coming 8ack a man to sweep her off her feet aren’t very realistic. It’s comforting in a way I’ve never felt 8efore, though, that she’ll 8e there for me even after she rejects me. It’s like a weird Oedipus-complex spin-off where I end up falling in love with someone that’s supposed to 8e an older-sister-figure in my life. That figure though. The D is a strong thing. May8e Oe-D-pus would’ve kept moving along with his mother even if he’d known who she really was. At least, if he found out after he first met her.
“The things that make you feel the most alone have the biggest potential to connect you.” – Ze Frank
In nursery school, I remember chasing all the other kids around because one of them pissed me off or something. I also chased this other kid around, who I think I thought was my best friend, because he stole my Voltes Five pencil. It was one of those old pencils where you took the lead out of the bottom and pushed it into the top to dispense more lead. High-tech stuff. The teacher didn’t help and I never got the pencil back, I don’t think.
In kindergarten, my social life was a little more stable.