Hugs & One-Sided Conversations

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My best friend told me today that I’m terrible at hugs. I replied: “I receive it; what can I do better?”.

I’m bad at hugs because I’m not aware enough of the other person involved in the hug. I don’t pay attention to how my hug-partner reacts to my hug-style, from introduction to body to conclusion, and I don’t take the time to appreciate and enjoy their unique and highly-personal huggage either. Hugging was, to me, a simple transaction: Continue reading

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You spread your sails and point your ship in a good direction, but you’re not the one who moves your ship or tells it where to go. Peace is found in somehow believing that the wind and waves will take you where you need to be. My “somehow” is a person much more loving and powerful than I am; His name is Jesus.

Mark 4:37-41
And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How  is it that you have no faith?”  And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, “Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!”

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It’s so easy to focus on the waves in my life and to let myself start to sink down into the water; and let the cold suck all feeling out of me. Cuz I know water. I know of drowning, seen it on the news. It’s a very reliable way to die. At least I’ll know what’s coming.

But you, I don’t know you very well. At least, not as well as I think I know the water you say I can stand on, the water that you stand on.

But, okay, I don’t mind getting to know you. Just… Please assure me that I’m doing as much as I can every day. I don’t wanna miss out on a single thing.

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Why should I fantasize about kissing a woman who doesn’t want to kiss me? Because if it’s only in my imagination that she would want to kiss me, yet I go ahead and indulge in that fantasy, then in that moment it’s not really her that I’m after. And if it’s not her true, unbridled self that I show up to appreciate in the relationship I share with her, then I’ll cause a lot of pain for the both of us. I want what’s good for her and I want what’s good for me. So I won’t indulge in the things I’m able to imagine. I’ll take pleasure in how things really are, because that’s how they really are. Whatever I’m given on a certain day, it’s enough blessing to be joyful about. The sun sets and the sun rises, but whatever the weather, every day is a day closer to Christ, both in journey and in proximity to the destination.

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Superheroes are given super villians to fight because if there weren’t any, it would just be a story of how hard it would be to decide who to save when the same decision means choosing who to abandon.

If it were me, I’d just roll a dice. Or better yet, let someone else choose. Then the burden of the choice wouldn’t be on me. Or, at least, there would be someone else to blame.

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