I feel that it may be my responsibility to document my journey. I ventured off the trail today. It had rained the night prior. By morning’s first light, it was still overcast and the sky was determined to stay that way. Swirls of cloud in the wind up above me but no sign of reprieve from the white fog that lay there, just a couple dozen yards upwards of the ground. I ventured off the path.
Ever since I was a child, I had the peculiar habit of… stomping about in mud puddles. Harmless enough, wouldn’t you say? But as an outdoorsman, and a person of the woods for a majority of my formative years, it was frankly not often that I got around to washing myself. I had work to do in the outdoors; I couldn’t just visit home when I felt I slightly may have needed it.
Anyway, mud puddles. Splashing. Stomping. And eventually, rolling in. Yes, I would roll in mud like a pig. But it was fine. I had gloves and boots and large overalls, you see. All that was required of me to maintain a proper presentation was for me to strip down to my inner clothes and then proceed to doing my deeds before again, putting back on my outer clothes. Until I found the chance to steal away back into my chambers, and slip into a series of warm baths. A series because not just one bath would do. The of the first and second baths would get much too dirty for me to become completely clean in them.
Thus, I was able to keep my dirty habit a secret. Until, that is, I couldn’t.
You see… One day, the mud started to become too much for my gloves, boots, and overalls to hide. I would meet various dignitaries within my woods as they went along on their strolls or hunts. First their hounds would sniff me and then they would ask for a handshake and I woild have to awkwardly and embarrassingly offer them a gloved hand. Then the firmness of their handshake would squeeze the mud out of my glove and out the wrist. Then I’d have to imagine and relay a story about losing a ring in the mud and having had my glove off when i desperately searched for it with my ungloved hand. It did the trick.
The worst changes, however, were the change in my heart and mind. I gradually became a dirty person.
By indulging in my dirty desires, I actually served to make them stronger. Desire became passion and suffering; I began to loathe cleanliness. I began to need to be dirty.
Perhaps more insidious than the latter was a subconscious shift in my perspective. I no longer noticed dirtiness and normally avoided it. In fact, I had begun to let dirtiness into all aspects of my life. It had begun to paint everything a different colour, quite literally. Nothing was clean anymore, even the things I desperately wanted to keep clean. Because I no longer noticed as easily when dirt began to creep in.
It was not my desire for my life to become abnormal. My dirty habit was meant to be a seperate endeavor to my regularly clean life. But providence would not have it so dichotomic.
Let this be a parable to you all: There are no walls in our lives. What you do outside your house, you will do inside your house. What you do with one person, you will do to another. What you do in one time, you will do in another. It does not matter if you have an audience or if it is done in secret. There are no walls in our lives. We are who we are. What we do, we will become. So do nothing you would be ashamed to have other people see. Because eventually, all will see. There are no walls in our lives. There are no secrets. All will see because all can see who you are. There are no secrets. Eventually, all will see through observing who you are. Especially those close to you, whom you spend the most time with. Will you hurt them with the news of your lewdness? It will reach them eventually. They can already see it.
There are no walls in this life. There are no secrets. What we do, we will become. What we are is clear for all to see. Will you hurt them with the news of your lewdness? Because there are no walls in this life. All see you naked in your bath, scrubbing off the dirt of the day. All see you wallowing in mudpits off the trail. All see you hiding the dirt beneath your clothes. Will you hurt her with the news of your lewdness? Will you hurt her? Will you hurt him? Or will you… Be clean. As a service to them. Love them by being a clean person? A pure and harmonious person? A comfortable person to be around, a non-threatening person. A charitable person. A giving, never taking, person.