Has anyone ever gone crazy and believed that there was more to life than what they saw? I’m not sure many people have. No one’s quite got the right idea of reality but between those who believe in too much, those who believe in too little, and those who believe they have no clue, it’s probably those who believe in more than is true that are the minority.

It wasn’t because I thought I needed it that I believed I was special. I just didn’t know. Thank God I’m over it now, past the ridicule and failure as well, but I can’t help but feel that it’s a romantic and exciting notion to be different.

For sure, the quickest way to create tension in a narrative is by implanting a character whose place can’t be taken by anyone else. But I think that’s lazy and harmful.

This is an ode to those like me, who really thought they were special, thought it would all come easy as long as we relied on what made us different, on what we had to offer that no one else could: You’ve got to make an effort like everyone else. You’re special and it’s good to know how you are, but you can’t rely on it for success. But guess what? It’s totally alright to be normal.

I want to see more extraordinary normalcy in literature. Society needs to see normal people stretched and pulled and struggling, but still managing to do the right thing somehow. I’m not sure how to make this work out, exactly, but… Protagonists need to be real people because people suffer under delusions that dictate to them that normal people aren’t interesting.

I don’t completely understand the issue, not even the one in me. I can tell what I just wrote isn’t very clear. But I see it now as a blessing that it still bothers me and that I still haven’t figured it out. I want to do something about how hard it was for me to believe that life would be okay after I found out that I’m not special, at least not in the way I thought I was.

Maybe there’s nothing easier than the way I had to handle it. But at the very least, I could somehow walk with a person going through the same sort of thing. Offer some support, some empathy, companionship, just make them feel as though they’re not alone.



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