There’s definitely garlic in my breath, but I think the taste of basil is hiding it. Made for bruschetta for breakfast this early morning.
And I do mean early. I woke up at about 3am (or earlier, can’t really remember) and came to a conclusion: I need to start challenging myself again. Before I continue on that, I’d like to mention that the bruschetta was a tad too salty and savoury for me and could’ve been a little more sour. Would’ve been great chilled too, but it was definitely edible. Anyway…
It’s very easy for me to lose momentum and stay that way. I stopped working shortly before the new year; the job was seasonal so it wasn’t unexpected. I quickly spent all my money on food, friends, and video games (instead of a trip I said I’d take to San Francisco or something), then proceeded to vegetate in bed in my room.
But then something changed. I got bored of being lazy. Sure, binge watching Netflix or Crunchyroll can be fun sometimes. But when it’s the only thing you do, it gets old really quickly. It starts to feel like scrolling through your Facebook feed although nothing new is popping up, or playing multiplayer Call of Duty for the fifth hour, long after it’s out-stayed its welcome.
Negativity aside, something has changed. I’ve realized for perhaps the 50th time that if I don’t keep working hard and pursuing challenge in my life, soon enough everything aside from sleeping starts to seem challenging. But sleep is boring. I’m actually scared of getting too much of it, of wasting my days and not being awake to do anything about it.
There are just so many things out there that I’m afraid to do because I’m not used to working hard, and it sucks. I just wanna relax but my effort threshold, at which the amount of effort I put into life starts to bother me, is too damn low. It bothers me to think of even the least amount of effort I could put into life, enough to feed myself and pay for an Internet connection. And that’s a crying shame because there’s a lot more I want to do in life than feed myself and use the Internet.
So this morning I started by using the exercise bike for an hour while binge watching Prison Break. Then I made breakfast. These things may seem like small feats, but trust me. They’re a step in the right direction. Especially that exercise.
The way I see it, it’s not the amount of effort we have to put into things that scares us. Rather, it’s when we have to try harder than we’re used to.