People say they don’t care about page views, becoming popular, and all that jazz. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pretty disappointed in the numbers I’ve been getting lately. But I’m not here to play the blame game; the notion of it is silly enough to bring a smile to my face, even though I’m commited to being a total downer right now. But I guess being down is a pretty silly thing in general. A very silly thing indeed, haha.
When one is disappointed, it only means they expected more to come from something than what actually did. And what should I have expected? I haven’t put the time and effort into learning what makes one’s writing interesting and I certainly don’t keep what little I know of it in mind when writing most of work. So really, I shouldn’t be disappointed. I didn’t actually commit to working towards the goal of growing my blog and my writing skills, I only dreamt of such a thing then confused my dreaming with actual effort, which made me think success was on its way.
I’m done with that delusion, though. Every so often, I get tired of my total lack of effort towards the things I wish to build up in my life. One of those things is writing and making a career out of it. Thank God I’ve taken to writing these ‘Daily’ posts, then. But now I’ve got the desire to take it a step further.
This realization came just in time, too. Up until now, I’ve been afraid to take that next step– to actually make an effort in anything. But now I’m all for it. I want to work hard again, not only because success and progress comes from wise effort, but also because… I just miss it. The lunch rush, the holiday crowd, the looming deadline: all things I used to enjoy.
And thank God, it’s finally back. I’m writing for this cool video games website here on WordPress by the name of Analog Addiction. Search them up if you’re interested, I’m a little too lazy to find a link right now. But chyeah. Deadlines and writing in ways I’ve never really written before about topics I actually need to seek out and investigate. Whaaat, thank God, the struggle is back and I’m excited for it.
Earlier today (and by today, I mean the time that’s passed since I woke up, 3PM yesterday) I was actually legitimately afraid that I had slept too much. And it genuinely felt that way; I was sleeping past all these things I told people I’d show up for. And it wasn’t an irrational fear, just the night before that, I slept for 15 hours.
The reason I mention this is because I don’t know how to segue into new topics or into the ends of my posts, so I figure I should just embrace it as a form of humour and try to exagerate it. I’m also really tired so my mind has started to wander. I apologize for this jarring, unrelated ending. But hey, if you’re really looking forward to some straight-laced, professional-type stuff, look out for my articles on Analog Addiction. I’ll be reblogging them here on my personal if I can, otherwise y’all are just gonna have to follow Analog Addiction personally.
I wonder what it is about a blog that makes people feel alright about talking to what are basically walls, sometimes. I guess it’s really not the same as speaking to a wall, though. It’s more like writing on a wall. It’s left in the hopes that someone will come along and react to it in some way, whether it be appreciate or disgust or whatever.
Welcome to my wall, traveler. Uh… Welcome!