This doubt has sprung from your recent figuring out that you are an emotionaly volatile and needy person. (Particularly, you readily absorb outside emotion. You are empathetic. And you doubt God’s providence because it now seems that you nees to go out and get something on your own. But you could compare it to food. You go to the syore and buy some hot pockets to fill yourself up. What exactly does it imply about God that you need to eat? What if you need to consume good vibes? What if you need physical and mental thrill? You must eat. What does that mean about God?