I don’t think I pray enough. Perhaps that means I don’t trust God the way He wants me to. Perhaps that means He’s not in a place in my heart and mind at which He’s the first number I call. And perhaps I’m selling myself short on the relationship I could have with God by living like this.
To be clear, I don’t pray every day these days. I don’t lift up my every care to God. I’ve barely mentioned anything in prayer to God lately. I wish to convey this literally, concretely. These days, I don’t even pray every day. Or maybe just today. But it has been one of those days, one of those fail days, one of those sin days. Maybe this is something I should note it down: “You get really distracted when you sin. You’re good; you just momentarily believed the lie. But you should watch your habits in the aftermath of that event.”
I have a lot of things to be worried about, and a lot of questions to wonder about; I have a few projects that I need both guidance and providence on. Whether I succeed at these things or not, there’s a relatively heavy burden that I’m carrying that I could instead leave at God’s altar. I could at least stop worrying and instead be reminded that I’ll be okay, no matter what the future holds. I’ll be okay, regardless of what the future holds, because this life isn’t it.
That’s something I’m just starting to grasp: what my life is other than the life I get to live down here, on Earth, as the person I am, in this body I’ve been blessed with.
Welp, there’s a path forward.