So I bought some gear for recording video games and recording my voice. I didn’t realize how much more stuff I’d need to buy, though. Sucks… But at least I’m moving. That is a very good change.
I bought an Elgato capture card. It wasn’t actually supposed to ship to my location but I put in the order without knowing and was then notified that I wouldn’t receive it and that I couldn’t cancel the order either, as it was already prepared to ship. Amazon customer service fixed it right up, though, and it’s now on its way.
I also bought a Blue Snowball microphone. I heard it’s supposed to make my voice sound all velvety and smooth. My friends tell me I’ve got quite the radio voice anyway, so that’s good. I’d like to have something real to say, though. I’m not quite sure what, but I remember having a lot of things to say back in the early days of this blog. I’m hoping to channel that spirit again, figuratively (and perhaps literally, what with the Holy Spirit being a real thing that empowers me, etc.)
I’ve been learning a lot about the Holy Spirit lately. Unfortunately for those of you personally unaware, it’s gonna sound like some crazy stuff. Heck, it’s crazy to me. But that’s a long story for another time. Right now, I’m explaining what I want to do with the equipment I just bought.
I want to try my hand at being a video game commentator on YouTube or something of the sort. This post here is to help me flesh out what I want to accomplish and experience as a content creator on YouTube. My aspirations fall into two categories: What I would find fun and what I want to accomplish. They’re both paths to fulfillment, they feed into each other, and I think it’s important that I consider both.
I believe that I’m likely to excel at the things that interest me. And if that’s true, then doing work that I’m interested in would be wise, effective service to the world and to God.
So, without further ado…
1) What would I find fun?
– I like speaking my mind about stuff. I like interacting with people and being shown different perspectives on topics I find interesting. Just being part of a community, a discussion, would interest me.
– Apart from more traditional commentary-type videos, I’d also like to explore montage making. I’ve got a deep place in my heart for music and visual arts, cinematography, graphic design. I’ve got a particular idea I’d like to see implemented… The striking, elegant visualization of what’s going through my head, tactically, as I play multiplayer games.
– I believe that people, in general, are more interesting when you put them together. I think it would be more interesting to see the interactions between me and my friends rather than me alone. Even on the more serious discussions, it would be interesting to bring friends in to talk to.
I guess that wasn’t a list of general aspects of YouTube that I’d enjoy so much as it was a list of things I’d like to try.
2) What do you want to accomplish through YouTube?
– I want to do more than entertain. But I do want to entertain well. Visual arts and music really speak to me, and I want to excel in that art too. But I want to do more besides that, I guess. Visually and musically creative productions… I don’t believe that they’re underneath speaking a tangible message when it comes to value. To be honest, I’m still learning what that value is, but nevertheless, I want to speak a tangible message. But not verbally.
I want to live the message, somehow. I believe that there are more answers in a life well lived than a word well spoken. There’s a reality more present in the life than the word, perhaps. And discussion can distract from me from living that life most fully, perhaps. I fear getting caught up in the discussion or having the discussion distract others from the message I want to live. “You do worse for your side of the battle by being a hypocrite,” I believe it says somewhere in the Bible.
I don’t want to shy away from more serious topics, but I don’t want to fly my Jesus banner prematurely.
Actually, I’m undecided about this aspect of my ministry. The banner could scare people away. But what more if I walk the way I do, leaving people to assume what I stand for? What I walk for?
One of the biggest questions people ask, one that I wonder about too: Can one be a good person without God?
‘Course, for that question to be answered, there are a ton more that come before it, branching out like the roots of a tree. Questions like, What is good? What do people define as good? Does God think that good people, by that definition, are good enough? And questions like, Am I prepared to face God’s answer to that question? Has my faith become lukewarm? Have I just settled with the answers I’m comfortable with? Have I stopped questioning? Am I afraid of what I’ll find?
Tough stuff. Maybe I don’t just believe I’d send a stronger message through my life. Actually, I think I’m afraid to stand up for what I say I believe. That’s not good. Living in this fear, I obviously cannot see how I’d more effectively minister. I’ll need to face this before I move forward.
(Thinking of it now, I’ve been neglecting this doubt for a long time. I’ve been letting it go unanswered, unchecked, unchallenged. Really, that just makes the doubt stronger, doesn’t it? Letting it fester like that, letting the tales of the monsters grow taller in the dark. Welp, time to shine a light in and see what we’re really dealing with.)
I guess, generally, I’d like to minister however best I can, wherever I go. I’m trying YouTube because I’m personally interested and I seem to have at least a few skills that would help me excel in ministry through YouTube. I have a mouth that speaks in a velvety smooth tone, and a brain that seeks to bring big ideas down to human size. It’s in my heart to make Jesus love in the world’s eyes again. And I guess that requires both living that love and answering the tough questions with grace.
There are so many misconceptions and questions. I guess my only legitimate fear in discussing instead of plainly living the message is that there are so many things I’ll need to say, haha. But if there’s a balance to be reached, God will take me there.
Last Minute Entry: Hey! What about movie commentaries?
Ohohoho. I’d like to do those. I wonder how it would be different from what I already do now, with this blogging biz. I guess it would just be more fun. And more work. And cooler to see, I guess. Not everyone likes to read, haha. I guess it would reach more people. That would be good.
God, I’m really all over the place. What do you mean to accomplish through this scatter-shot heart of mine? (Scatter-Shot Heart. Wow. I like that.)
I forgot what I was gonna put here, or why I put that squiggly-line-divider there. Anywho, so many plans. But first and foremost, I must cultivate my many passions. Y’all might think that passion is something that should just come easy, but I think I’ve let the word “easy” be redefined for me. It has become too much effort to do as little as put together a playlist of music that inspires me, excites me. But it seems easy enough to take back and believe once again the real definition of the word “easy”… “Boring.”
Suck it, evil forces of the world. God loves me and He’s not letting me waste my life.