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i’ve come to better know what it was that set my development back, causing a bit of grief along the way.

my boss at the food truck, at which i currently work, recently told me this story: his daughter, only in her early teens right now, had already started looking at universities to go to in the future. she had a particular program in mind as well.

his response to it went something like: children should focus on getting to know who they really are, exploring their skills, interests, and concerns, instead of using their time to pursue ambition that they may change their mind about in the future.

in my last post, i wrote about how i think it might be better to ask how i could serve through my career, rather than asking how my career could serve me. and just now, i wondered if the way i’d like to serve is by encouraging kids not to make up their minds too quickly about what they’d like to do. but i question that too, now: would it be beneficial for kids to focus on their interests if what will satisfy isn’t how a job will serve them, but how they could serve through their job?

it’s a conundrum, a paradox. cuz when i look at the nature of my premature ambition, i notice that it was charged with a desire to serve, too. what, then, caused it to fail? i used to blame my lack of interest in the kind of work i aspired to itself. and i might not be wrong.

perhaps i’ve overreacted in stating that purpose, in a career, is more important than being interested in the work that we do. i really found interest in my current job at the food truck (ahem, mobile cafe), but when i dont also look for purpose when considering my future, i seem to get really lost.

i really believe in how the food truck is run. there’s a genuine, mutual respect there; trust and inclusion, and trust, that is hard to find in many businesses. i’m taking that respect with me wherever i go, and i hope to respect my future coworkers in that way, too.

but i guess that’s not purpose enough for me. my boss has made a change through the way he runs his business. he’s made a change in my life through trusting and including me in the success of his business. but i, myself, don’t feel as though i’m making a change through the work that i do.

i’m glad that i was able to decode my emotions like this. otherwise, i thought i just might not be into food and hospitality, which is untrue and would be a tragic thing for me to believe. but nah, it’s not my sense of interest that started to wane in my current job, but my sense of purpose.

thank God for the brain He’s given me! i almost made a stupid mistake!

anyway, i’ve got a lot of time to think of the repercussions of this revelation of mine. for now, gotta tuck in early.

the last few months have been pretty exciting. now that i’m back, i think i should summarize. later.

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