Did you really have to bring it up like you did? Could you not have just implemented it instead bringing attention to a word like ‘problem’?

Once implemented, it was sure to raise some eyebrows. Then voices, resulting in the same effect.

You need to understand why you did this.

Lord God, through her desperation, will she find you? I know she can’t find you any other way but her own.

I know I can’t be her provider, even if she wants me to be. Even if I want to be.

But Father, it’s so painful to have to part. Father, it hurts to have to go. Father, I don’t like this.

Father, I don’t like that the attitude of ‘reject those who would reject me by allowing them to reject me preemptively, perhaps falsely, forced by my insistence that they will reject me,’ has been renewed once more. Of all things, don’t let her believe that, Father. Or is that part of the plan?

Why is there so much fear here? Father, I can’t handle it. I have things to do. I have things to do. I have things to do.

Lord, will you pull me through? Will you please call out to her? Will you please equip her to answer?

I know that your ways are perfect. But does it require so much to have her turn to you?


Nah. The question you should ask is this: Is God worth all of this pain?

Is God here?

He is everywhere.


Lord, if she’s to be desperate, make her desperate for you. Give her, Lord, give her a place to turn. Lord, who can it be? Lord I’m so desperate.

If only I could touch the corner of our garment, Jesus.  But it’s faith that heals, not the garment itself.


God, give me faith.



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