I need to write myself down. Let’s think, Holy Spirit.
Are you who I’ve been speaking to this whole time, on me blog? Who knows.
Anywho, let’s get to the point. I may have been burning with desire for her. But the more I get to know her, the more I feel as if I can be satisfied just being her friend and nothing more.
So what’s the problem?
Sometimes, I forget that feeling. Sometimes, I forget the feeling of being her friend. So I asked her if I could rely on her a bit. Whatever works, right? (Edit: She said, “It’s my pleasure.”)
*Deep breath* Haaa- Hmmmm. I want y’all to know what my problems are and how I seek to resolve them. Lately, I’ve been away from home a ton. Too much temptation with the ‘rents gone, house empty 24/7 except for me. Both temptation to slack and to fap. Tonnes of work to be done, both spiritually and academically. I find that it’s easier for me to work productively on both things when I’m away from home.
Or perhaps my problems just aren’t so complicated right now, lol. Honestly, what I wrote up there is basically it. That’s all there is to it. Of course, there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that has gone into that conclusion, but most of it has been arbitrary. This has been the only thing that’s worked so far.
I’m referring to a ton of things involving love, desire, marriage, wisdom, and the purpose of life. Heavy stuff. Perhaps I’ll talk about it later.
I used to find peace here, within the hedge-maze of my mind. That’s what this was for me: a wall to bounce my thoughts off of. Talking to myself (or to you, ‘cuz apparently it helps me,) usually helped me clear things up. But now, it seems my peace can be found elsewhere.
I’ll come back when I find another use for this blog. Perhaps to share what I’ve learned. Or perhaps I’ll use it like I used to use it, again. I really have learned a lot recently, and I plan on learning more every day. Perhaps that’s what this will be: a place to teach what I’ve learned.
Funny, I never thought of myself as the teaching kind. But uh… Yeah, I kinda see myself as the teaching kind now. Thinking of becoming a pastor, etc. ‘Cept I wanna cook too. And analyze society through economics methods. And write, and make music and movies. I’m sure there’s a place for me in this world.