When I accept gratitude for what has 8een given to me to give away, I lose the a8ility to give selflessly. When I take credit for the endless spring that I drink from, it suddenly runs dry. Not that the spring itself starts running. More like my lips are sewn shut and I can no longer swallow.
When I accept the gratitude that I’m given for giving out what I’m ena8led to give through selflessness, I start to 8ecome dependent on that gratitude. And all of a sudden, I’m not so selfless. I start to give from the limited praise I’m given instead of the unlimited confidence I can only find in God.
Perhaps I wasn’t a8le to stay selfless 8ecause my confidence wasn’t from God. I recall feeling free in thinking that I am good enough as I am, that if anyone has rejected me, there’s nothing I can or should do a8out it. 8ut this might not 8e true. I certainly hope it’s not, since I still want her. 8ut nah, even if there really is still room for me to grow, my confidence should 8e in God. My selflessness and my resolve to stay true to myself might not have 8een rooted in confidence in my Father, although they were 8eautiful while they lasted.
8asically, good house, weak foundation.
Always learning, always growing. Now I only need to work hard and love, and according to this 8ook I read, I should 8e good enough.