Led to this:
It’s a weird coincidence because I’ve been exploring (looking at YouTube videos and thinking about) philosophy, thinking I might go undergrad in it. Then, all of a sudden, a philosopher is talking about the earthquakes in China back in 2008, the ones which had me react in such a way that I believed I was destined to become an engineer. (That plan didn’t really work out, though.)
The video, and all this, has me thinking again. Do I want to be an engineer?
I used to think up things like giant pistons on the coast, underwater, which would return the energy of a tsunami if one happened to come by. I remember a conversation I had with my older sister, where she insisted there might be a way to negate the energy of an atomic bomb. I disagreed.
But I wasn’t always so hopeless. (Perhaps I shouldn’t call it hopeful, instead, naive.)
With this information, though, that the earthquakes I wanted to protect schoolchildren from were man-made… Idno. It’s got me thinking again. All the things I gave up on because I said they were impossible…
I’m different from who I used to be a year ago, and the year before that. But before all that, I might’ve been more like I am now than who I was last year and the year before that. It seems I was more hopeful. I’d think around problems instead of giving up.
But what was it that didn’t work? I thought I knew what I wanted, and I had the tools to get there.
Maybe something’s wrong that I can’t solve alone.