[Pre-pre-script: This will be a “Write as I think” entry. It’s supposed to seem inconsistent because I’ll be able to process my thoughts more clearly once they’re written down. Call it the difference between the RAM and the harddrive. (Pre-script: I don’t know shi- about computers.)]

So uh… I’m 18 now. Not that exciting. I’m listening to a song, it’s a nice song. Weather Machine – Jon Gomm. I hope I’m not breaking a rule by mentioning it. Later today… I will be going to a-

It’s boring to write something like this but I once told myself that a blog would be a good thing and that it would contribute to other things in life that I’d like. I’m not feeling it for anything though; there’s nothing much that I’m passionate enough to write about. Not at the moment.

I don’t know if it’s just a feeling or if this is a sign of how I presently see things.

I’ve got ideas for things to write about but I’m afraid of things I didn’t used to be afraid of before. I wanted to write about the Modern Warfare series and how its story wasn’t crap. I wanted to compare BF3 and BF1943 and talk about how simplicity can be more entertaining than complexity.

But I guess my mind’s been wandering too much lately. Things seem a tiny bit clearer when I write things down. Guess this is why I like to take notes in class. (It’s also good for studying later on.) [That reminds me, I sipped 2 consecutive days of school, all over one boring class. What sucks about my current attitude is that when I’m undecided about something, I force everything to take a break. Except the world doesn’t revolve around me so I get left behind instead.] {Oh man, talking about that was useless and space-consuming.]

I guess I’m not all that good at focusing on things. Even when I find things that I can’t tell myself to reasonably turn away from, I forget and forgo them someday. Maybe that’s what happened this time. I know people would like it if I posted more often. If I posted more often, people would start expecting something every time they came here. Thus, they’d come more often. Every time they visit and see nothing new, they tell themselves not to expect so much and they stop coming as often. And this is a bad thing.

I don’t know why I stopped posting.

Seems like I’d like the world to be perfect before I move forward. But I find it more than a little scary to think that I’ll be sitting in the same boring class for another few months. It terrifies me to imagine that kind of monotony.

But it seems like… it’s the only thing that can be done. I think it would comfort me more to know that I can’t get out of this class. Like the difference between a desert island in a place where noone ever goes and a lonely planet noone can get to or get off of. Either I’m driven insane by the possibility of escape or I learn to accept my fate. I think I’d prefer the latter.

Holy crap, this “Think as you write” thing is working really well.

Maybe I wouldn’t’ve forgotten what I was talking about if I didn’t go watch some funny videos instead of continuing to write. Seems I have a plan now, though. I’m going to ask if I’m allowed to drop that one boring, meaningless class. The answer is probably no, and it will be good for me to know.

As for the writing thing… I need to remind myself about 2 things that I already “know”. I shouldn’t be afraid of running out of things to write about, since that’s never been a problem for me. And 2, if it’s crap, I can throw it away.

The thing I’m most concerned about is my memory, though. I’m worried that I don’t remember the games I want to talk about as they really are. Most likely, that’ll just result in some awkward, small mistakes but I don’t like mistakes. This isn’t a bad concern though. Why *not* play through those games again?

It’ll give me 2 things to talk about: What I used to think and what I’ll think after a closer look.


I really like having a plan when it comes to things like this. Things like life. So basically I like having a plan for everything. The end.



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